Firewhiskey and Final Chances
by Leah The Mermaid
Summary: Tonks knocks on a door, intoxicated and determined to say her piece. Remus answers a door, and realizes that war makes some decisions very easy.


Remus Lupin was well aware of the fact that news received late at night was rarely good news.

A knock rang out, loud and insistent, causing Remus to nearly jump out of his skin in that foggy period between sleeping and waking. _I could ignore it,_ he thought. _Let them leave their bad news at the door, where I can deny it for a while longer._

But it was no good, and his feet soon found slippers, his hands a wand. Grumbling, he stumbled down the stairs to his front door. He didn't even bother to ask who it was before answering.

Nymphadora Tonks was standing on his doormat. Remus blinked in surprise, and so did she. Her eyes changed color each time they reopened. "Wotcher."

"Nymphadora?"

"Hey, that's my name!" she slurred, brightening, then turning redheaded with ire. "Don't call me that." Tonks punched his arm.

"Ow!"

"Sorry. I'll fix it." She leaned over and kissed the arm of his robe. Remus had no response to that.

They stood like that for an excruciatingly awkward few seconds, in which she stared blankly and he tried to rub the sleep from his eyes.

"Are-are you drunk?" he said.

"I had lots of alcohols, Remus."

"Er." He took Tonks' arm gently. "Perhaps you should come inside."

" _That's all I'm asking!"_ she burst out unexpectedly. Remus was startled by the tears on her face, and guided her to his couch, summoning coffee with a flick of his wand.

"I just want you to let me in! But you won't, and you think you're being so noble, but it hurts, dammit!"

Slowly, he began to realize what this was about, why Tonks was full of liquid courage.

"Oh, Merlin's beard, Dora..." he sighed.

"D-don't you s-sigh at me, Remus!" said Tonks, eyes brimming. "I'm not a child. I don't want to be like this. I put you ahead of me, and you put me ahead of you, but neither of us ever _do_ anything about it! I want to feel how in love we are, and not be afraid anymore. I want to share that. I want you to want it. Do you know how hard it is to love someone who doesn't want to love you back?"

She flopped down on the tattered loveseat, and Remus sank into the cushion next to her.

"Slow down. I know," he said.

"I know. I know you know, and knowing is even harder that not knowing, you know?"

"I-I know," he whispered. Every day he felt it. More than wanting Tonks, he wanted them, together. In any other world it would have been possible, but Remus had long ago come to terms with the one he lived in. He put his arm around the crying woman next to him, clutching her to him.

He did want to love her; he did love her. He loved her nose pressing into his chest. He loved the smell of her hair, even tainted with the aroma of firewhiskey. He loved how perfectly her warm curves fit into his arms.

"Can we just stay like this for a while?" the werewolf heard himself murmur.

"We can stay like this forever," said Tonks. Before Remus could reply, she was sliding out of his arms and onto the floor.

Concerned, he watched her clumsily try to prop herself up on one knee. "Dora?"

"Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait. Hang on. Woah." Her balance was regained. "Okay."

Both of her warm hands took his cool one. "Remus John Lupin. Will you marry me?"

Hours, it seemed, went by in silence. The crickets in the yard seemed particularly loud.

"Er..."

"You don't want to marry me?" peeped Tonks. Mismatched eyes threatened to spill over again.

Shifting uncomfortably, Remus tried to think of something reasonable to say. Nothing came to mind, so he just said, "You're very intoxicated."

Her brows furrowed. "You're way too sober. I'm asking you to marry me, you idiot."

"But-"

"No," she said seriously, getting to her feet. "No more excuses. We already know all there is to know about each other, all there is to consider. This is the last chance I'm giving you. Yes or no."

Yes or no. In that moment, Remus had a sudden clarity that that's all there was to it.


End file.
